Friday, January 31, 2014

Lynnwood

Before Lynnwood got plowed, I had the privilege to ride there a few times. Poorly. This video is all from the last year, and it really shows how dialed the place was by the time it got plowed. Lynnwood was always fun and always had a million jumps, but most years the jumps were a little rough around the edges. By the last year, they had 15-20 people digging out there, and everything was stacked vert, packed in, and it looked like concrete. Lynnwood was amazing, and I think we can talk about those jumps on Team Robot now, because they're not there anymore.




Why do grown men play with dirt and bikes in the woods? I don't know, because we do. FBM summed it up with this classic t-shirt that fits in the "I wish I'd thought of that" category:


Nailed it.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Perfection


Bro, can someone here fix the red eye in my pic?




This is also what it would look like if I tried tabletops.

Clips on downhill bikes.

It's not about pedaling.

It's not about pedaling.

One more time: It's not about pedaling. You people are all idiots.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Stuff like this



Watching stuff like this makes me want to quit racing and cry myself to sleep.

THE KILL LIST




THE ROBOT APOCALYPSE CANNOT COME SOON ENOUGH

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Losing

On net, each of the three members of Team Robot have more experience losing bike races than Greg Minnaar has experience winning. When it comes to losing, we can spot natural-born talent when we see it.


This guy has it:





That's a big one


No two ways about it: Brendan Fairclough is an animal. Photo stolen from Aspect Media/Jacob Gibbins.


This photo is also exhibit #396b of the ever-expanding storyline I'm working on. I call this story "how much talent, skill, and determination it takes to consistently not quite hack it at the top level of the sport." 

And please don't try to tell me "Fairclough doesn't [work hard/try hard/pedal/focus]." As we can see in the above photo, Brendan Fairclough is a complete psycho, but even a guy who can shift into animal mode like Fairclough still only possesses 99.99998% of what it takes to win a World Cup.

These guys are so good at riding bikes you should cry yourself to sleep tonight.


Monday, January 20, 2014

Friday, January 17, 2014

Big news in Portland

This is big doins here in Portland. I got to help out on this, and I'm pretty fired up about the whole thing. Take a read, and prepare to be amazed by the fact that people actually seem to agree on this idea:



REAL MOUNTAIN BIKING IN PORTLAND.


Here's a link to the full article on Bikeportland.com: http://bikeportland.org/2014/01/13/off-road-advocates-propose-biking-trails-at-river-view-natural-area-99805#comments


Look at the comments!! There's barely even nitpicking. Almost everyone on *BIKEFREAKINGPORTLAND* seems to agree this needs to happen.


Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Aussie National Series




2014 Australian MTB National Series Dates

Round 1: January 17-19, Eagle Park, Adelaide, SA 

Round 2: February 7-9. Mt Buller, VIC

Round 3: February 21-23, Thredbo, NSW

National Championships: March 6-10, Bright, VIC



Not a lot of commentary here, but just for fun I plugged all those race locations into google:



Thoughts:

1. Not a lot of driving (relatively speaking)
2. Anyone from Cairns or Perth is pissed.
3. Maybe America as a country needs to start telling people on the East Coast that they can either suck it up and get used to driving, or move somewhere with real racing, like this half of the country.




Monday, January 13, 2014

Shocker

Vital recently reviewed the new Nevegal X Pro, Kenda's replacement for the classic Nevegal, the tire of choice for every VP-Free riding old guy camelbak-wearing DH racer at your local races.


Shocker of the century: the new tire also sucks.




I've prepared a graph to explain why I find this phenomenon so fascinating:



Friday, January 10, 2014

Die now


Do you remember flat bars? They're almost completely dead, but not quite there yet. The tide has shifted, and people have realized how stupid they look and how bad they are for riding. Flat bars, please finish dying. Now.

On the other hand, I was at River City Bikes the other day, and they probably had 25 high-end MTB handlebars in stock, and none of them were over 10mm rise. So maybe we're not out of the woods, yet.

Pedal up, race down

Gary Fisher is so enduro.



This is the best mountain bike video of the last 12 months, and I think this might actually be a Rankin video. Key ingredients:

1. Getting rad
2. Racing
3. No one notices or cares about the video guy. Can't be bothered.
4. The music.
5. Still, no one cares


The reason I can't watch Play Corter or Mindspark or Broastal Crew videos is that it's clear they all care so much about the video. The riders just want to tell you so bad about how hard they're training or how epic that line was or how bro the road trip was, and it's like the riders and the video guys will die if they don't show you how epic they are. They're trying too hard.


Instead, think of your audience like a girl: the more you ignore them, the more interested they get.


Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Blind date

Everything's going great, you're doing the small talk thing, but obviously you want to ask a few of the important questions. Well it turns out you two have a lot in common, a lot of shared goals, you know? First of all, we're talking suspension that's air sprung, which in 2014 is a must-have; coils are all but a deal breaker. Then you find out there's external rebound, HSC, LSC, and it even has an adjustable positive air spring volume? What, I can adjust spring rate and progressivity, too? Go on...

20mm axle, standard steerer, 38mm stanchions, this sounds like what you've always wanted. And then you hear those words, those words that can never be unsaid:



"After a three year development period, including extensive input from factory riders Garett Buehler, James Doerfling, and Brett Tippie, Suntour's RUX dual crown fork..."


And just like that, the date is over. Of course you're going to keep up the small talk, pay the bill, and be civil about it, but this is clearly a non-starter.

Why did they have to say that?

Friday, January 3, 2014

Hey, this also sucks





 My favorite part of the video: "An hard day of bike."
That's also the working title for the new Anthill movie.

IMBA trails driving surge in new trail users


When reached for comment after his trail experience, Papa Bear said, "Our first time on mountain bike trails was great! I was worried that Mrs. Bear and the twins would be intimidated by scary, technical, advanced trails, but fortunately the IMBA has a huge presence up here in Nome, and all of the advanced trails have been plowed and turned into backcountry highways. It was no sweat."

In closing, Papa Bear also added "After our completely homogenous and predictable trail experience, we enjoyed mountain biking so much that we promptly visited the local bike shop in Nome and purchased new bikes and accessories for all the members of the Bear family, and we predict going forward that we will actively and regularly participate in mountain biking culture, racing, trail building, and advocacy. Our isolated, singular, safeguarded trail experience was sufficient to build a lifelong love for this sport that will surely weather the storms of life and stay true through lean times, injuries, seasonal ennui, bad weather, and the general adversities that can turn people away from lukewarm passions."

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Anaheim One

Team Robot will be there.


Checklist

1. Welding together a trailer/launch ramp? Check.

2. Sourcing a reasonably decent, properly-sized full suspension mountain bike to throw off the edge of the world? Check.

3. Full video team? Check.

4. Assembling a team of professional emergency medical care professionals, trained to work in delicate, extreme, or dangerous environs? Check.

5. Take fifteen minutes, have everyone grab a shovel, and build one berm, or maybe just take five to sight a straight run in off the cliff?

Oops, yeah, that's what we forgot to do.


Death Road base jump ... on a bike... movie - yes as stupid as it sounds. from Alistair Matthew on Vimeo.

Crazy Pills

I got this email today, and it made me smile:
"Thankyou. You know that feeling you described in "They're all the same look" where it feels like you're completely alone in your beliefs? That's me. Or it was me. Now I know I'm not alone. Maybe not surrounded by vast crowds of loving, supportive friends; but not completely alone either. So thankyou, next time I ride an IMBA sanctioned highway through my local bushland I'll be a tiny bit less inclined to go home arid slash though my wrists with the blunt edge of a teaspoon. 

-Steve"

Steve, you're not alone. And yet, as you ride that IMBA sanctioned highway, you are alone. So, so very alone.




Team Robot is glad to help with the trails, Steve, but as far as your friend situation goes, that's a little out of our wheelhouse. But we'll go out on a limb, just for you, Steve. 'Tis the season, right?

Steve, we just met, so we don't have a lot to work with, but using that short email as an indicator of some of the patterns in your life, here are a few thoughts.




Brushing up on your grammar and spelling is always a good place to start. For instance, your sentence "arid slash though my wrist..." I'm guessing that's supposed to be "and slash through my wrists," but typographical errors like this can take a run-of-the-mill suicidal threat and turn it into a vague short form poem about the costs of corporate farming as a toll on anonymous workers and a juxtaposition of the hands of the one with the power of a larger force. Clarity in communication can be a boon to any relationship, personal or professional, and demonstrating a level of technical competence in language is always a surefire way to attract interesting people.

Additionally, complaining about your state of loneliness can arouse sympathy in the short term, but it can quickly transition into destructive cycles of self-pity that become a burden for not just you, but to all the people in your life. That can be off-putting for most people, and would put a strain on any relationship over time. Speaking of things that put a strain on relationships, those close to you might feel uncomfortable when you conflate the seemingly insignificant vagaries of life, such as bicycle trail design, as reasons to kill yourself.


Suicidal threats are rarely a foundation for healthy new relationships.



Let me know if you have any other trail or relationship questions, and Happy New Year Steve.


Sincerely,
Team Robot