there is definitely a hierarchy to the "Kill List" but it is complex and only understood by robots so in an effort to shed a little light on the subject here are a couple examples of the upper echelon of the "Kill List"
these guys are so close to the top of the "Kill List"
3. Tex Diesel and crew. If all of Eugene is flooded out, might as well get the winch and go wakeboarding.
Editor's note: Team Robot does not salute the sport of wakeboarding, or wakeboarders in general. Wakeboarders are typically bro'd out assholes, it's obviously not a real sport, and, perhaps most troubling, wakeboarders pull way hotter chicks than I do. TEAM ROBOT is only saluting Tex and crews' wanton disregard for the flood and its negative, destructive impact on Eugene and everyone in it.
Just to clarify:
Wakeboarders? Not TEAM ROBOT approved.
Ignoring the human cost of natural disasters to go have fun? TEAM ROBOT approved.
Man, I didn't even recognize this old video of yours, Clay! You filmed so different back then. After all, where are the heli cams and dollies and time lapses and zip lines and super zooms and interviews and interviews and interviews and narrating? Okay, to be fair I did have a hunch it was you when I heard the uncomfortable screechy chick wannabe neo-punk music:
I was sure someone else must have filmed this, because it's just 3 minutes of straight racing, on American soil, uninterrupted by dramatic cuts or slow mo. Hey, to be fair I guess I looked pretty different eight years ago, too:
It's a bummer to think I was still doing curb-height barspins while Kircaldie was at his peak winning practices at Norbas and World Cups.
We're beginning a new series here at Team Robot called "Legend of Lacava." Do you have one of those friends that always talks about "lactic thresholds" or "how fit I am right now" or who waxes poetically about the "symphony of pain" that he experiences when he's climbing? Do you have a friend that rides for 30 minutes and puts a full page write-up on facebook? I have that friend, and his name is Paul.
Paul takes the monotony of everyday events and makes it sound like he helped put another man on the moon. What you call riding to work he calls "peak endurance anaerobic baseline conditioning." What you call good dirt he calls "tacky bad ass epic rad loam ready to get shredical." For years we've been basking in the glow of his enlightening meditations. Now you too can enjoy his pearls of wisdom.
Photo is courtesy of Darrin Seeds, who is way better at photoshop and most other things than me. Today's quotes come from Paul's lesser-known surfing side:
"The gift of surfing is a mixed one. It'll wear you down, destroy all your free time, humble you, make you swear, make you hate it, punish you badly, turn you into a meteorologist, and then once and a while give you the best sensation I know of that makes it all worth it."
"Suffering massive Santa Cruz withdrawal. Fortunately the Oregon swell is looking prime tomorrow. Dawn patrol!"
"I have a love affair with the California coastline!"
James Cameron or youtube or whoever produced Terminator 2 didn't want anyone to ever embed any Terminator clip ever. I know this, because I looked at about 20 of them, and embedding was disabled on all of them. So just tough it out and follow this link, you won't be disappointed, except when some of the brave terminators get destroyed by the savage humans. Don't worry though, most of the dying happens to the humans:
These Oakley Crowbars are currently listed for sale on Pinkbike on the Team Robot account. The following is an brief item description and two real questions from a pinkbike user named dhnewboy:
Oakley Crowbar, Matte Black/Grey fade/clear
Used a few times, in like new condition. Brand new lens, an $8 value. Comes with goggle bag and a five pack of tearoffs.
DHNEWBOY: "very nice, i like. what are tearoffs for?"
TEAM-ROBOT: "It's an eye drop that prevents tears. Even with goggles on a lot of people experience tearing of the eyes at higher speed, so tearoffs help with that."
DHNEWBOY: "very interesting. and are they clear lenses?"
In other goggle related news, those oakleys aren't really for sale anymore, the lens isn't new, and I pulled all five tearoffs. Last weekend I used the last of those five doing my first ever midair tearoff. To you, that's just a one-hander where you swing for your face. To me it was a big deal. Brad even made me walk back and pick it up when I finished my run. A right of passage, if you will.
If you're sitting there wondering who Brad is, there's only three things you need to know:
1. Brad is faster than you
2. You suck
3. Chuck Norris is alive because Brad allows him to go on living.
I know this is a highly contested category, and I know that the title gets tossed around a lot year to year, but today we at TEAM ROBOT are proud to bring you the all time title holder, Mountain Cycle.
We present to you the ugliest bikes of all time:
Another great detail: the downhill bike requires a proprietary 35mm bottom bracket, and the size large DH bike has a 42.8" wheelbase. SOLD!
But don't believe me. Listen and watch as Gerard walks you through some of the details of this bike, and as he awkwardly caresses and strokes:
And these are just their new bikes, not to say anything about where they came from:
But, my first ever downhill bike was a Mountain Cycle Shockwave 9.5, and I loved that thing to death. I didn't ride it to death, because as ugly as it was, and as weird as the geometry was, that bike was basically invincible. Bender proof. My bike wasn't just clapped after a season of use. When I built the frame up, it was pre-clapped. The frame was new, but all the other parts were haggard, borrowed, or found in dumpsters.
Here's a picture of me keepin it real back on the Mountain Cycle in '06 at Willamette Pass (won that race, btw). I was stoked to get that fork, but then I slowly came to the realization that it didn't like to move up or down- not a good quality for a race fork. At this point I still had a Progressive 5th Element, which was actually worse than just bolting on a straight spring. Also, major style points for the Giro helmet, exposed man thigh and excellent riding position. What are Five Tens?
And in '07 at Skibowl (won it also). By now I'd moved up to a 888 and a Fox DHX 5.0, which was world better. Nonetheless, what's compression damping?
The Mountain Cycle today, still in operation somewhere in Idaho:
67 degree head angle 15.75" bb height 17.5" chainstay (that grows... A LOT) 5 inch tall standard headtube 22.3" toptube on the size large Totally dialed